Fifty Shades of Boring. Is This Really the Best We Can Do Circa 2015?

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February 17, 2015 by gregrabidoux2013

fifty shades movie shot

Help, I can’t believe I said yes to this movie. help!

Stop me if you’ve heard this all before. A young dashing billionaire “bad-boy” (Christian Grey) seduces the timid, young and naïve “good-girl” college student (Anastasia Steele) and together they explore the boundaries of romance, bondage, S&M and a closet that would make a Victoria’s Secret model blush. She’ll become his slave and a prisoner of his power, both will never be the same again. [You should’ve stopped me by now]

Geesh. I think that was the book summary on the back of a 1985 romance paperback with a bare-chested dude named Fabio I saw at Wal-Mart for 50 cents. Forget the 50 shades of “I could have been at home washing my hair instead and minus all that abuse” instead of forking over $10 bucks to watch to actors play “grab-arse.”

Look, this plot-line usually is and should have been rejected from your typical Harlequin romance novel publisher for being too clichéd and predictable. Nicholas Sparks, “Mr. Notebook himself” would have to say “meh” about such a sorry and stale plot. Been there and done that. And in a rainstorm no less. In fact, Flo the Progressive Insurance gal showed more passion in her rainstorm moment in a recent commercial than Ms. Dakota Johnson is able to muster in the exceedingly long 125 minutes of Greydom.

Even former “Material Girl” Madonna, who years ago did rather bizarre and inexplicable not to mention contortionist-invoking things with a beer bottle in her then-controversial “Book of Sex” ho-hummed the 50 Shades of Grey furor. “It’s just not very sexy,” noted Madonna. “Maybe, it’s for people who never had sex before” she mused.

fifty shades madonna

Fifty (well, 56 to be exact) shades of Madonna.

Maybe.

Or, maybe this book and now movie is about 50 years too late. Let’s face it-These days any billionaire “boys” are nerds who either own Facebook, Google, Microsoft or some combination thereof. And their idea of being “bad” is getting to Level 10 of the new Assassin’s Creed video game. And, none to my knowledge do or will ever look like the buff actor who plays Mr. Grey in this silly cinematic nonsense of a movie.

And timid, young, naïve Anastasia? Well, she’s played by Ms. Dakota Johnson, the daughter of Don Johnson and Melanie Griffin. For those of you far too young to recall, let me just put it to you this way-Melanie and Don (both actors) posed for Playboy when she was about 16 and he was 22 and “in lust and love.” So much for passing on any hereditary naïve gene.

But more importantly, in the year 2015 when we continue to witness athletes assaulting women, young ladies being kidnapped and forced into real bondage and sex trafficking around the world and President Obama calling rape of our young women on our college campuses an “epidemic,” it is hard to make the case that this is the type of “fetish fantasy” that any of us need to be watching and plunking down money for on of all nights, Valentine’s Day/Night, for goodness sakes.

The “bad-boy” billionaire with all the power enslaving the innocent, wide-eyed girl in his world of S&M and bondage and kink…Please.

Are there any women out there, naïve and young or not so naïve and older that truly find this plot attractive? Exciting? Bold?

superbowl ted

If weird is what you’re after there’s always Ted.

Well, obviously, many do, as 50 Shades of Grey raked in well over $80 million in hard cash this past week-end.

Still, I can’t help feeling that this movie is about 50 years too late and about the last thing we need our young men and women finding glamorous or life-style worthy.

If they really wanted to make a “bold, controversial” film then may I suggest the following plot change? Christian and Anastasia switch roles and she’s the one in charge and in power. I wonder how many moviegoer males across the US would suddenly think of “50 Shades” as a “chick flick” and not nearly as sexy? “Hey honey, about the movies, can we see American Sniper instead?”

Of course, SpongeBob the Movie: A Sponge Out of Water is on track to make $100 million and surpass 50 Shades. And they even have less spanking. Can you believe it?

fifty shades spngebob

Believe it. No shades of grey when it comes to square-pants.

Now that’s entertainment.

splendora palin

Forget the movies, when we get bored we just start a bar fight. Now, that’s entertainment folks.

bengal-tiger-why-matter_7341043

 

 

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43 thoughts on “Fifty Shades of Boring. Is This Really the Best We Can Do Circa 2015?

  1. jatvsu says:

    Well first you HAVE to go see SpongeBob–if only to see my office (aka Salty Shoals Museum)!

    Meanwhile, I’ll start with a disclaimer: I didn’t read 50 Shades. Nor do I have any burning desire to waste hundreds of pages of my life I’ll never get back. I did read a quite entertaining blog shared by a friend that provided summary/commentary on the books–yes. Plural. The author is active in the BSDM lifestyle and had much to say about the inaccuracies of it in the books. But her quips about the characters were HIGH-sterical. The naïveté of the main character is just…and the supreme sexiness and perfection of this über gagillionaire? Is she trying to create a new Tony Stark or Bruce Wayne?? What’s his superpower? Look, I get the lifestyle and don’t even pretend to be sanctimonious about it. A friend and I talked about this just yesterday (she read the books) and had a great perspective: in a true situation, the sub really has all the power because that person determines what and how far and all that. I’d never thought of it that way.

    But the bigger issue is the fact that this movie demonstrates the cold hard fact that any old crap can get published. And terrible movies are made–as long as someone has the purse strings to make it happen. I’m a sucker for a romance movie. It’s the hopeless romantic in me I suppose. But I have no plans to read this trash or watch that garbage. I have bigger fish to fry–you know, like write a dissertation.

    You’re onto something with this 50 years too late business. Maybe this would’ve been earth shattering years ago but with people like Madonna (forget Miley and her shenanigans or some of those others more recent folks trying to be all risqué) we’re unaffected by all of this. It’s scary how apathetic we are to everything. People are getting beheaded and set on fire…and children (not just little girls) and young folks (guys too) are getting snatched up and forced to be sex slaves. Here. My here–SAV. Your here–Valdosta. Everywhere. Our backyards. It’s terrifying. {steps off soapbox}

    50 Shades of Meh. And could you tell I’m definitely not one to get sucked up in some glorified fantasy? Maybe because I’ve already made that unfortunate mistake. Except instead of some BSDM billionaire, I lucked up with a lazy bipolar drug addict felon of a slob complete with a crazy babymama and all kinds of F’ed-upness. So yeah.

  2. I tend to agree…they say everything’s been done before….so what could constitute ‘scandalous’ these days. On a local radio up here in NW GA, they had callers call in…while the majority had read the book they vowed not to go see the movie…because that would be scandalous! Apparently reading the book, well, there’s nothing wrong with that?!

  3. Ashley J says:

    I have not seen 50 Shades yet but I like your idea of the main characters switching roles! I find that Hollywood is very afraid to have a movie about powerful women. There are very few.

    • Ashley-true, Hollywood prefers silly, male fantasy movies like “Pretty Woman,” a prostitute who’s sweet and wholesome, right. The last movie that had a true female, strong hero lead was Sigourney Weaver in Alien. Now, again, they prefer movies like “Legally Blonde” with Reese Witherspoon.

      • ken h says:

        i have not seen the movie nor read the book but in my case if sex is most of the movie why call it a movie? it should be called pornography and should have been kept as a book. in my opinion, kids should not watch this movie but they will find a way and the makers of the movie will be badly scolded once the media exposes this. its fact, you can not keep a movie away from youths these days and that’s the bottom line and my only concern.

  4. kim f says:

    I have not read the books or seen the movie yet. To me I think the movie and the books had way too much attention brought on them. I do not understand why so many shows, the news, etc. had to continue to use words like ‘scandalous’. Such as women in their forties and above are reading the books, often downloading on devices since they are just too scandalous! Why be embarrassed to pick up any book in the store or buy a movie ticket if that is what one truly wants to do? Simply because it may be viewed as containing sinful topics, one should not be looked down upon for reading a book or going to the movie theater. Who are we to judge one another for some of our choices? To me this is just another series of books made into a movie likely not so great. Most romance based movies are overall cheesy when we step back and analyze them, but in the moment can be good when women see what we do not have, a perfect gentleman, family, and fairytale ending portrayed through characters somewhat relatable to us. I admit to shedding an occasional tear during a romance flick, especially if the good guy ends up dying. Women could partially be drawn to this storyline since they could imagine being in such a fantasy. A billionaire boyfriend to take care of you, and some adventure, why not? I think this movie can also be relatable to a younger women audience being the main character is indeed a college student, while the older audience may think back to their first loves and what adventures they had or could have had. The outer appearance of the main character being a shy college student while behind closed doors being with Christian, almost her double life, women could also relate to. In reality our acquaintances think they know who we really are, but there is so much about us, in our actions, personalities, habits, finances, or other aspects that we hide from them, knowingly or unknowingly. The movie to me would have a far better message if it was all about a woman in control. Women becoming more educated, holding higher positions in the workplace, fighting for equal pay, rights in healthcare and more, movies definitely should not be portraying an opposite message of women being controlled by men.

    • Rhonda says:

      hmmmm!!…I’ve the read the books and seen the movie and I like both. Its very daring and extremely different. I feel because some have not read the books and doesn’t quite understand the plot of ” Fifty Shades of Grey” it’s kind of hard to critique the movie. Yes, Anastasia Steele, is portrayed as this sweet, timid and naïve woman, BUT, she went into the relationship ” knowledgeable” of what Christian Grey was asking for, willing and ready to state her demands and ready to seduce Christian as well. So the question is how naïve is Anastasia? A “submissive”, It happens each and everyday in marriage, so I really cant fathom why this movie is a big controversial topic. Dr. Radidoux, I would also love to see Christian and Anastasia switching roles. I would love to see a woman in a domineering role as Christian Grey. Women are looked upon as sweet, innocent, and silent and for the most part, that may be true, but I think theirs more to us as Anastasia shows us in this movie. In the end, if you’ve read the books, its Christian who actually submits to her and truly understand how messed up his way of thinking is 50 Shades of ………..

  5. Rhonda says:

    hmmmm!!…I’ve the read the books and seen the movie and I like both. Its very daring and extremely different. I feel because some have not read the books and doesn’t quite understand the plot of ” Fifty Shades of Grey” it’s kind of hard to critique the movie. Yes, Anastasia Steele, is portrayed as this sweet, timid and naïve woman, BUT, she went into the relationship ” knowledgeable” of what Christian Grey was asking for, willing and ready to state her demands and ready to seduce Christian as well. So the question is how naïve is Anastasia? A “submissive”, It happens each and everyday in marriage, so I really cant fathom why this movie is a big controversial topic. Dr. Radidoux, I would also love to see Christian and Anastasia switching roles. I would love to see a woman in a domineering role as Christian Grey. Women are looked upon as sweet, innocent, and silent and for the most part, that may be true, but I think theirs more to us as Anastasia shows us in this movie. In the end, if you’ve read the books, its Christian who actually submits to her and truly understand how messed up his way of thinking is 50 Shades of ………..

  6. Nat M says:

    The greatest element of motion pictures is this…the ratings have to be an R or it’s just not going to make money. This sentiment is complete garbage, because it should be adults who view such a movie to begin with. If you’re interested in seeing a film which gets in to the Marquis de Sade level of story telling but for a censored audience what is the thrill. There is truly something to be said about the written word verse the screen, as this novel had house wife’s going crazy for months. I remember friends of mine prior to a deployment talking about this novel their wives could not put down, “fifty something or others” and it exploded.

    Just like all other undeniable trends, this one took off and had to be produced for the masses. I agree with the sentiment that this is not by any means a new concept, but to be honest the people who are infatuated with this movie are indeed dragging their husbands or significant others to the flick to enjoy some fantasized role playing…if only they were swept away by such a handsome millionaire. If you’ve seen previous movies that deal with this topic, The Secretary for example, you only know there’s another self absorbed control over another story by Hollywood capitalizing on conservative sexual values and the adventure of the mind. This will undoubtedly be a financial success for the industry, proving simply that the same value for the written page translates to the screen. I agree that this is endemic of current society, however this story is indeed a modern one. Fifty years ago we were just exploring the realm of sexuality in modern culture, and were still removed from the modern media message and inundation of sexual marketing.

    Just a thought, but we have moved toward a more accepting and sensual society, however our American values are still far removed from the libertine attitudes of John Wilmot and dare say I that though I feel comfortable talking about sex attempt to bring up the topic in social circles of the Midwest and see what occurs. It would be an interesting case study. In conclusion, I would say that some of the greatest work of Madonna is indeed in the era of “Erotica” and my favorite the “Bedtime Stories” time period. However, I only accept that she and others supported the sexual climate of marketing, along with Guess jean adds and MTV that have brought us to where we are today. One sentiment to share, throw away the fantasy and live your lives.

  7. Jade M says:

    I have not read nor have I seen Fifty Shades of Grey. I wanted to read the book, I just never had the chance too. When I heard their was going to be a film for the book, I truly did want to see it, however, as the movie began to become overrated, i just lost interest. Eventually I felt as if I could care less about what happens in Fifty Shades of Grey and everyone’s opinion’s. Despite the millions of dollars that come in when releasing a film, why do books always have to become a film/a visual? Fifty shades of Grey should have just remained a trilogy so that people’s imagination can run wild! Women are fond of the idea that one day a wealthy man will see you and actually “see you” for who you are, your potential, your beauty, and suddenly crave to have you in every way possible ! This story plot is synonymous to Tyler Perry’s Temptation movie. I also agree with previous comments by stating that Hollywood and the movie industry should steer away from the stereotypical storyline, (powerful) man who “saves” a (feeble) woman. But then again, women fantasize about these scenarios all the time, so maybe writers are just feeding on to the popular desire.

  8. V Davis says:

    OMG! Yes, in a valley girl’s intonation. I totally agree. It is so funny to me that people would buy into the hype of this movie. I must say though kudos to the marketing and strategy team behind what is an “oh so yesterday “, “hush=hush” topic. Do people in America need all that to have license to openly discuss and explore other expression of sexuality? Cause that aint love, Y’all! I bet the European are “LMOA” off right now and the romance industry feel like they have been ripped off.
    But seriously this may go to a larger reveal. America is having difficulty with the LGBT community and the issue of equality under the law for all. And heaven only knows what “those people” have been up too all this time! I would think they are saying “Honey, What’s the Big Deal”! So perhaps reaction to “Fifty Shades of Gray” found the perfect climate to be relevant even if it maybe at the expense of others who have forge that territory. I wonder what kind of fun the religious rights are having with this. I am amazed as well that with women being abused, rapped and kidnapped all around the world by men that this movie slithered through without anyone blinking an eye.
    But keeping it real it’s “HOLLYWOOD”. I will hold on to the blind faith that people are more intelligent and insightful and realize it just entertainment. Lest we all forget “Magic Mike”! I love “Sponge Bob Square Pants”. Got to check this movie out for sure! In all fairness, “it not that serious” and from this blog not that good. Its only make believe sexual fantasy on celluloid. If it floats your boat……….

  9. Donald S says:

    What confuses me most about 50 Shades of Grey is how it departs from all the movement towards gender equality. Anastasia is viewed as nothing more than a stereotypical, submissive girl dependent upon a man to explore her sexuality. She is shy, lonely, exhibits low self-esteem at best and even has “daddy issues.”

    Then, in order to be his Submissive, she must engage in a contract that restricts her diet, forces her to exercise, mandates appropriate levels of sleep and even coerces her into taking birth control. Hey, I’m not saying the typical guy wouldn’t like a similar relationship and contract, I’m just completely confused about the hypocrisy that takes place as women flock to the theaters.

    If I were to suggest this sort of behavior to any of the women that enjoyed the film, they would be unappreciative to say the least. And if any women think otherwise, give me a call…I’m free this Friday.

  10. Emily E says:

    I am not one to waste time reading a book that has no use in my life. Neither did I typically care to see the movie even after all the great things my mother said about t. I think my father enjoyed it too because he would always comment, “Ever since she read that 50 shades book…” then make a face like he liked it. However my boyfriend presented tickets to me as a partial Valentines Day gift. I couldn’t say no. I was extremely shocked to see the movie was only rated R. My friends who saw the motion pictures only a couple hours before me with their boyfriends warned me it was like porn.

    I agree with a lot of your ideals. The female actor was not the least bit sexy to me. And seeing her hair was displeasing. Christian Grey however was the sexy I had hoped to see. I never stopped to ask myself why he was rich, so looking back the plot does seem to be off. Maybe in the book it explains where it came from. I like the idea of switching roles, but I think a huge part of this book is taking the innocence from the girl. Maybe if she was the rich one but he was still the one with the interesting taste in sex. Maybe they movie could of explained more that Christian’s dad was the rich nerd because often ugly people have gorgeous babies.

  11. Kinsley M says:

    I, in every way, shape, and form, agree with you. I REFUSE to go see this movie. It really and truly disgusts me. There is so much evil going on in the world that use bondage and all that other type of sexual pleasure as a weapon to hurt people. Why would I want to go watch a movie that has types of sex that hurts people? Like no lol. I’m certainly not going to pay any money to watch it. It has a really dull plot and gives out the wrong message also. It’s kinda sad on the timeline of which it came out too. You have American Sniper come out, that has so much meaning and a good plot behind it. Then, you have this piece of crap movie come out, on Valentine’s day nonetheless. It just astounds me what people find as entertaining these days!

  12. Theresa L says:

    I should of known this would be one of the popular blogs to talk about! Let me just start off by saying that I agree with you on many levels, however, people tend to forget about what the 50 shades of grey series is all about. Once you get past the first book, yes I have read them, you understand what the real plot is. It is not about sex at all. In fact, It’s a more intriguing story of this young mans life and how abuse and neglect from growing up has ruined his image and now he found a girl who changes his life forever and makes him actually believe that you can love someone without having to hurt them. I honestly like the story because you can learn a lot from it, like I said do not just stop at the first book…you have to read the second and third one to understand and appreciate it more. Do I think the movie was a smart move? Probably not because I bet you that more than half of those people do not know the entire story since they never read the books so they just assume its a porno when its not at all and either refuse to see it or see it for the wrong reason. I’m no movie or book critic but this is just my honest opinion. I do agree that they should have kept this series on paper because it started up a lot of drama with all the horrible things that are happening in our world, but you have to admit it’s always fun to see a book come to life.

  13. Okwudili O says:

    I have not watched or read Fifty Shades of “porn”, however, I saw the trailer as a result of this discussion. I also read comments on this issue on Huffingtonpost – where Vicky Ward commented that Fifty Shade “target every woman’s un-feminist secret dilemma: security or love?”. Charline Spektor did not see herself reading a “book in which an educated girl gets tied up and whipped”. I personally think, based on the preview that it’s something I would had loved in my 20’s; and I also believe that morally the movie is unnecessary.

  14. Ashley G says:

    I agree with your statement and I personally will never see the movie and I have not read the book. The BDSM lifestyle is nothing new to us and some of us are even aware of people we know who have chosen that lifestyle. We have time and time again seen movies that show this type of action and it is nothing new and was a waste of money to make. People now a days have many of different sexual lives and some more extreme then what the book and the movie portrayed. Time to go back to the drawing board when making these types of movies.

  15. A Blackwell says:

    Its a little over a month since 50SOG (I so wanted to put SMOG there), and unsurprising its still in the top 10 at the box office. I personally went and say Kingsmen on Valentines which I have to say was a stellar watch if you like “James Bond” type films. Despite the horrible reviews from professional and movie goers alike people are still going out and seeing this film in droves. Why? Maybe because its still the only real pure romance movie in the box office right now? Or perhaps despite the bruisin’ its been receiving people are still intrigued by the idea of a movie that may push some boundaries. With the sales that its raking in, there is sure to be a a 50 Shades of Grey part 2 sometime in the near future.

  16. John F says:

    The problem with these types of movies is that in today`s world when they are watching and reading things of this nature it is giving them a false sense of what love and romance really is. While I have never seen the movie or read the book, I have seen enough chatter on social media to get the gist of it. And also with all of the domestic violence between the sexes in today`s society this is not the type of movie Americans need to be pouring their money into.

  17. I never read or went to the movies to see 50 shades of gray because I don’t like following the status quo; however, the book I am about to publish is dark, psychotic, and highly sexual since my protagonists are psychotic serial killers. I have a feeling you are going to rip me a new one after you read my book. My book has political undertones regarding homosexuality and racism, as well. I have a feeling 75% of my readers will be repulsed by at least one aspect. But the book is really not about people liking it, but people learning something from it. Admittedly, I am preying on human depravity with the goal of paying off my college loans so I can get a PhD : ) by entertaining. The second goal is to educate.

  18. Caitlyn says:

    I personally have never read the books, or seen the movie, but some things should be kept in the bedroom…. not displayed for the world to see in movie theatres everywhere. Many of my friends went and watched this movie (on V-Day of course,) and informed me that it was not near as good as they thought it would be, but that it certainly made them blush more than once throughout the course of the film, no doubt. Films such as these, in my opinion, are degrading to women and create a false perception of true love and romance. Needless to say, I have not, and will not partake in this 50 shades ‘fetish’ that is consuming the lives of many in our society.

  19. Marcus E D says:

    Hey; it’s just a movie! It is not a PSA, social stance, pro violence video, etc. These Hollywood folks are only going to sell what we buy! I am in no way in favor of censoring this kind of film. I say, let the market drive it. That said, some of the utter crap that gets produced and sold, blows me away!

    In the end, some American women desire to see the fantasy of male domination played out on the big screen. Sex sells and Americans buy. My wife has been begging to see the movie. Thankfully, my daughter has other preferences, so our movie money went to Cinderella, Home, and Big Hero 6. Thus far, good taste prevails….

  20. jsd says:

    I haven’t seen the movie but I read the book I imagined that the movie be just as steamy as the book. What i’m hearing is its not though which is kinda of depressing because the book was very intriguing. I’m not into that dominant submissive world but the book made you be in someone else’s shoes that aren’t yours. I would imagine that the movie would be just as suspense as the book. The book raised eyebrows because it had no regulations it was a freely read that allowed the mind to imagine so as you go see the movie your like okay my imagination is being put on the screen but I don’t think that its portrayed that way and that is what has disappointed people because its not what they imagined. Also books are allowed to get away with more explicit details than movies are so the books are able to help build your imagination more than a movie could.

  21. Sareni R says:

    I must say i’m guilty of watching the movie, my friends were all begging me to come with them and to save myself from being called a prude, i went. I honestly did not want to go see this film because a) i’m not into men dominating women, b) it was the biggest cliche ever with a slight twist, the dude was crazy. Anyways i give the actor/actress credit for putting themselves in such position and also learnt a valuable lesson, to never let my friends pressure me into watching something like this again.

  22. Ben F says:

    I read in The Caine Mutiny (A much better book and movie, BTW.) that sin is relative to character. I think 50 Shades struck a nerve with the Oprah set. It’s bad without being really bad. For the great desensitized hoards, it caused barely a tremor, but I know quite a few 40-50 year-old’s who found it quite racy. For the record that is my age group as well. For my money if you want better movies in the same genre, go with 9 1/2 Weeks or Body Heat. And for reversed roles try Disclosure with Michael Douglas and Demi Moore. Excellent.

  23. Katherine R says:

    I, like many of the others, did not see the movie or read the books, so I lose a little credibility here. I totally agree that we should not continue to solicit this type of entertainment, especially when what is happening in the real world. I do not agree with how dominating a man should be over a woman, the amount of violence, or using sex as incentive/weapon when there is so much struggle with these areas. I was listening to the radio one morning and they were saying that women like the dominance because they have to have so much control in every other part in their lives, such as what is for dinner, packing for vacation, what to do on the weekend, get the permission slips signed. When Christian Grey took care of all of the thinking, it melted the women into puddles because finally, they could wake up and not worry about a grocery list or a forgotten soccer bag. He handled all of the thinking for her. Perhaps that is nice and would be refreshing for significant others to do every once in awhile, but it could be done without all of the S&M. Perhaps I need to read it to see what the hype is about…

  24. Sydney E says:

    I have never read the books or seen this movie nor do I plan to. The meaning behind this movie is horrid especially when there are millions of people in the world being sexually harassed, degraded, and trafficked. i feel as though this movie had too much hype and Hollywood needs to get their crap together and produce meaningful, positive, uplifting movies for everyone to watch. People everywhere complain about our cruel society but we wonder where these ideas come from and those people are the ones spending time and money watching films like 50 Shades of Grey. As you said, a role switch could have given that movie a completely different overview. It’s time for Hollywood to accept that women have power and they aren’t afraid to stand up and show out so why are you (Hollywood)?

  25. KFitz says:

    Glad to know I wasn’t the only one completely underwhelmed with 50 Shades – books and movie. I honestly tried to give it a chance, sometimes falling asleep while reading, but to call this stuff porn is tres genereux. Late night HBO called…they want their plot back. My thought on all the hype is this – if you didn’t read/view these wastes of trees and celluloid, your comments are of little value to anyone. I LIVE in the Bible belt and discussed the crappy books with a couple of friends who are ordained Protestant ministers. We concurred on the tail wagging the dog on this one. Skip it and read The Decameron (14th century), boys and girls.

  26. Jill V says:

    First off, “Geesh. I think that was the book summary on the back of a 1985 romance paperback with a bare-chested dude named Fabio I saw at Wal-Mart for 50 cents,” your writing is hilarious.

    It comes as a shock to many of my female friends, mom, sister, etc. etc….but I haven’t read the books and I definitely didn’t see the movie either for Fifty Shades of Grey. Maybe it’s because, like you mentioned, it’s outdated and quite frankly insulting. I don’t see the “romance” there.

    However, there are many many women (and men) who have found this movie to be “the best ever” and “just couldn’t wait to see it.” I find that almost just as disturbing as the plot itself. Is this really the entertainment people want to see nowadays? Psshhhh…SAD!

  27. Richard B. says:

    I once read somewhere that psychologists had determined that women most sought mates that exuded reliability and consistency, while men most sought mates that affirmed the man’s actions and decisions. I have neither read nor seen this movie however from reading this post it seems the movie may play into these themes. The woman affirms the man’s behavior even when it is otherwise unacceptable and is willing to endure physical pain for the trade off of consistent attention.

  28. Kelsey G says:

    I actually have not seen any of the movies that were referenced in this article and I am not sure of the reasoning behind each one of the movies that were made, From my understanding the 50 shades of grey my not have been a movie just about being sexy but it could have just been a very intense love story that was made into a movie and a book and not to necessarily be the most sexy movie to ever had ben made. Some may consider it to be controversial and others may not think that it was it is depends on the person who is speaking in regards to the movie.

  29. Candus K. says:

    I have not read the books nor have I seen the movie. I really have no interest. The plot seems to remind me of the old movie “9 ½ Weeks” with Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke… Man pushes woman outside of the box sexually. She gives in to him and in turn finds herself. I agree this reads like an old Harlequin paperback and its 50 years too late.

  30. Cenetta B says:

    I think we should use your idea. Would’ve loved to have seen Ana being the Dominant and Christian the submissive. But, to be honest, this movie (and book) is nothing but Twilight with copious amounts of sex

  31. callenm says:

    I must admit I read part of the book and saw the movie, but I wasn’t really impressed by either. Obviously the movie was much more tasteful than the book, how could they produce a movie as graphic as the book and it not be isolated to the shelves in a sex shop? ! I believe many people felt this was a very controversial topic for two different reasons, the first being religion and the second being that it sexist or degrading to women. Many people, that I know, view this as a sinful movie and/or a version of female porn. There are also many people who felt it was very degrading to women and as you mentioned really does nothing to help with the current issues that are modern society is facing, such as domestic abuse, sex trafficking and rape. According to a 2005 Durex survey, 36% of Americans are willfully involved in BDSM. I would have to assume that with that high of a percentage I think the real lifestyle is probably much different than what is portrayed in the books and movie.

  32. Donterrel E says:

    After reading this blog, I would like to read the book and watch the movie. I am somewhat interesting, it seems to be like twilight saga but dealing with a sexual relationship. I could be wrong so I will read the book and watch the movie.

  33. essking says:

    After the movie came out in theaters, my friends thought that I was so lame because I didn’t rush to see it. I waited for it to come out on redbox and finally got it. I just knew that I was about to see the most exotic sex movie ever. Boy, was I wrong! There was too much hype over the movie. The characters did not come off as “attractive” to me. I’ve seen better B list movies with sex scenes in them. Maybe they should have taken your advice and switched the roles. That would have been interesting and against the norm. It probably would have caught my attention more as well.

  34. Jason C says:

    I could not agree with you more. My wife read the books and I finally gave in to watching the movie. One of the best naps I have ever taken. Bad writing, bad acting, bad story in general. I agree that 50 years ago this would have been an exciting topic, but in 2015, please. I am reminded of an old South Park episode that talked about how low the bar has been set when it comes to movies and TV.

  35. LMC says:

    Well, I didn’t read the books or see the movie, and I agree with most of the commenters here. I chose not to read/see because I simply couldn’t support the premise of the story. It was way too against gender equality for my taste. Plus, let’s be honest. Some things should stay in the bedroom. What you and your other do in there is up to you. No need to go parading it around. What cracks me up – honestly – is how much freaking money the author made off of the books and the movie rights. For all the backlash against it seen here in the blog, there were millions of others totally into it and paying good money for it, right.

  36. Lawhorne says:

    I didn’t read the book and only watched the movie to understand what all the “hype” was about. It was difficult to watch because the actors came across as extremely monotone as well as it appeared to be low budget production film. I suspect the actors did the best they could given the book they were depicting, but for a book that had such hype, I was extremely underwhelmed.

  37. cmdarden says:

    I just came across this and I know I am a few months too late but, I must say coming from someone whose friends were all completely and totally obsessed, I honestly did not ever see what all the hype was about. And let me tell you my roommates would sit in our living room and just talk about the book constantly and then when the movie came out, oh goodness, they became even more obsessed. So, I gave in to see and I can honestly say it is too late. The book, the story, the movie were not anything new and honestly compared to some shows on Netflix and HBO it really was not scandalous at all. And what is so crazy about all of it the next one comes out sometime in the spring or summer and the author wrote ANOTHER book about the whole thing from the guy’s perspective….I am just over it.

  38. Welch says:

    I am an avid reader and when I first heard all the hype about this new book called “50 Shades of Gray” I was interested in reading it. At this point I had no idea of the story line. The next thing i heard about it was a radio personality call it “porn for housewives.” Not my cup of tea. As the book evolved into a movie I learned more about the plot and became more dismayed by what was quickly becoming popular culture in our society. I am disgusted that an abusive relationship is portrayed as desirable. Many people argue that the relationship between Christian and Anastasia was just a look into S&M culture. However, my religious beliefs and values hold that a relationship should be between equals. It should be loving not manipulative. The consensual status in and S&M relationship aside, (from what I understand) Gray was emotionally abusive to Anastasia. I have two daughters, 6 and 8 years old. This is not what I want them to see and think is okay when they start dating. I want them to understand that they should date and marry a man that respects them and treats them right. This is the part of the hype that bothers me. I’m not really concerned with whether the story line came from the 80’s or if the blogger thinks the plot was trite. I am worried about the effect it will have on this young generation of girls (and boys who make grow up to think it is ok to treat women this way). They now have college classes dedicated to this one book in some schools. Not as a comparison of modern literature, but solely about this one book. This is just another indication of the decline of American values where black is called white and white black. What was once unacceptable is now ok because it is just a different life choice. In my job I see people who are physically and emotionally abused all the time. Ask any of those survivors if abuse is ok or if it is titillating. Another point someone else made was that had Christian Gray been ugly and poor, the plot would have been more along the lines of psycho and stalkerish, NOT romantic and sexy.

  39. Emily L says:

    Having personally never read the books, I watched the movie on a whim one night to see what all of the fuss was about. Boring is an understatement. I agree with Madonna when she states that the “movie may have been for people that had never had sex before”. BDSM is nothing new, and unless you were an individual that A, never had sex prior to viewing the movie, or B, never had a conversation in regards to sexual activity, it was nothing to write home about. Maybe if the movie would have come out approximately 50 years ago, it would have made more of a splash, however, during this day and age, it was anything but impressive.

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