Texas GOP says Yes to Reparative Therapy. Time to Turn Gays back into Straight-Shooters.


June 11, 2014 by gregrabidoux2013


First we change gays into straights, then water into wine and finally poof, no climate change issue.

The Texas GOP recently approved a new plank to its party platform. This one is called “Reparative Therapy.” The premise is simple. At least to all of these Texas straight-shooters. Gays are broke. So, thinks the TX GOP, I will ensure that “No More Gay” therapy is available in my rawhide state so those gays (probably moved there from California) can get fixed. Proper like. No need to thank me Ma’am. I’ll  just mosey back into the sagebrush with nothing but my horse and my rather buff,  trusted male side-kick Tonto. On second thought, maybe I should take these open-aired chaps off. Just in case.


I’m not real comfortable with how you are looking at me kimosabe.

Maybe you are wondering just what is involved in “reparative therapy?”

Well, similar to the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, it too is based on taking steps towards a new lifestyle. So, soon you will go from sipping a cabernet and noshing back delicate pieces of sushi in San Francisco to say hanging out with guys that look a lot like Larry the “Get ‘er done” Cable Guy in a beer-filled man-cave.

Larry cable guy

Bring ’em to us. We’ll get ‘er or ‘im done.

The actual steps are largely based on a 1991 book published by Joseph Nicolisi and Elizabeth Moberly called Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality. In part, the therapy involves certain actions the “gay patient” must take to get rid of the homosexual poison.

This includes; 1) Taking part in sports, the more masculine, like football, the better (Gee, Michael Sam the openly gay former U of Missouri football player just drafted by the NFL St. Louis Rams should be “cured” by now, No?)

Michael sam

Not cured yet. Weird, huh?

2) Avoid homosexual activities like operas, museums and art galleries like the gay plague that they are (My wife and I need to talk, exactly what is she up to making us go to the opera and (gasp) the ballet at the Kennedy Center and the National Art Gallery?

She better not leave me alone for too long I am told the therapy can be reversed and then where would I be? No friend of the Texas GOP I imagine.

3) Avoid women as friends (what?) unless for romantic or sexual reasons (oh, okay, wait, what are we advocating here, being a run of the mill rap star?)

4) Mimic heterosexual behavior (This may explain Justin Bieber grabbing his crotch a lot on stage lately, just speculating a bit here).

Bieber holding crotch

Step 7. Gee, this isn’t so bad.

Then 5-8 are essentially; go to church, flirt, date (may want to avoid some catholic priests in the news lately) engage in sexual activity, get married, father children, and join a support group for any “slips” back into the gay-life (you know, sneaking off to see La Boheme by yourself, see, see what a little opera here and there can do to a guy?).

But if you are married and have fathered a child, isn’t it a little late to be “slipping?”

Ok. No matter. The American Medical Association, the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association all discredit and condemn such “therapy” as dangerous. They assert that even exposing anyone (LGBT) to such steps can lead to further isolation, depression and suicidal tendencies. I am told these three “downers” tend to attach themselves to folks who are made to believe they are “broken” and in need of getting “fixed.” Maybe not as painful as when we “fix” puppies but then they probably felt they were fine the way they were before they got a blast of “therapy” too.

Not so fast, all you Cosmopolitan-drinking “Sex in the City,” Modern Family (well, the one gay couple at last) groupies, says Cathie Adams, the very straight ( I assume) director of the Texas Eagle Forum. She says that a gay dude told her that he was gay but had the therapy and faster than you can say Ru Paul he is now straighter than a Texas sunset. That was all Cathie needed to hear and she and advocates of the therapy were off and running to the nearest political convention to get that controversial plank inserted in the TX GOP party platform.

Ru Paul

Won’t be the first time I’ve scared ’em straight, honey.

In response to fellow GOP leaders like NJ Governor Chris Christie banning such therapy at least for LGBT minors, Ms. Adams says that getting fixed is an issue of “personal freedom” and that freedom is what makes America, America. Well, just not with all of those gays attending all those wine and cheese gallery openings. Or so I am told.

But more to the point, will this recent adoption by at the very least, a highly controversial and frequently discredited “therapy” lose the TX GOP votes?

Probably not. The TX GOP is not, as I understand it, a (pardon the expression) “hot-bed” of LGBT activists, enthusiasts and supporters.

On the other hand, over 10,000 GOP party faithful gleefully (no, that’s not the right word here) very manly and in a straight-forward manner approved this party measure. So, it seems to be hitting the right note (but not in a Broadway Show-tunes sort of way) with key party activists. And that my friends is true political freedom. Discredited be danged.

I just have my doubts about how Texas lesbians will react to a therapy that calls for them to not even have women as friends. I guess they’ll tinker a bit with Joe and Elizabeth’s blue-print. As one advocate for the therapy said, queers like that Ellen should mimic real women like Kim K (Kardashian). Yes, as has become obvious from her notorious sex tape, we all can, perhaps, learn something from Mrs. Kimye West. But that may not be the mimicry the TX GOP had in mind for Ellen.

Ellen D

Step 3, wear suits and ties. Check.

No matter, something tells me they’re more concerned about making sure all of their cowboys, um, shoot straight.

As for me, well, it’s time to check in on VP Joe Biden, he’s probably said something funny and threatening to national security lately. And then I’ll hit the Gym with my fellow manly-men. No opera this evening. It’s therapy night for the cast.





29 thoughts on “Texas GOP says Yes to Reparative Therapy. Time to Turn Gays back into Straight-Shooters.

  1. Ronnie T says:

    To say the TX GOP actions are ridiculous would be dignifying it. Insulting is closer. When the TX GOP enters the 21st century then maybe I’ll care about what they do or say. Just the next time Fox News tells me how the GOP is inclusive and is getting diverse I’ll just remember this type of BS they do. Maybe they should start mimicking civilized human beings.

  2. Tyson W says:

    The therapy is not mandatory and it is about freedom, to not have to live a lifestyle just because celebrities make it seem cool. Thanks to the GOP there is another option for gays.

  3. Shanta P says:

    Tyson, do you really think that being gay is something many of us do because of some celebrity?? Yipes. It is this kind of thinking that leads to actions like this by the TX GOP and others.

  4. Sandra M says:

    First, this is one of the funniest columns I have read anywhere on any subject! But even more impressive cuz this is usually such a divisive issue. So wow, nice work Dr. R. Now as to the TX GOP, they just keep using their straight-shooter to shoot themselves in the foot don’t they?

  5. Amber Y says:

    As an LGBTer and proud of it I have to say this is a laugh OUT loud column…as for the TX GOP not sure why they think this is needed and why they’d support a bunch of non-science non-sense!

  6. Bradley C says:

    Good to see the TX GOP focused on the real issues we face in our nation! Go GOPPERS!

  7. Thomas C says:

    Yet another reason for Americans (VOTERS) to focus on something other than the economy, terrorism, American citizens being illegally (allegedly) detained in foreign countries …. Why do Republicans, Tea Party’ers, Conservatives … just insert name here (the line is beginning to blur) … continue to champion these types of policies. Does the average citizen care that this new policy offers nothing more than an option for people who ask for counseling. NO! and rightly so! The impact of this “victory” is small compared to motivation it offers the rest of us to vote for the other guy (and by the way I am a Republican). This is not how we take back Washington folks!

  8. Amanda H.D. says:

    Aside from the obvious fact that reparative therapy is totally ludicrous, I can’t believe women aren’t up in arms about the idea of men objectifying women as just sex objects? Have no Republican women stood up and said “Hell No!!” to the idea that women are only for sex? With “rape culture” being the buzzword for 2014 how has this not illicit a response from women’s groups. Also, I think it’s a little close-minded to boil men down to art hating, sports watching, philandering animals.

  9. Michael R. says:

    Wow. I choose to personally do a quick web search to double check that this was an actual current event. Are you kidding me? Don’t we all live in the 21st century? The Texas GOP’s suggestion that reparative therapy can be beneficial is outrageous. The belief that such therapy is about freedom is a contradictory ideal in it of itself. If one were “free”, he/she, in this case he, would be able to partake in a lifestyle of their personal decision not be compelled to participate in an outlandish therapy. I will close by suggesting that everyone re-read the American Medical Association’s position on the Texas GOP’s support for reparative therapy.

    “The American Medical Association, the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association all discredit and condemn such “therapy” as dangerous. They assert that even exposing anyone (LGBT) to such steps can lead to further isolation, depression and suicidal tendencies”.

    • Good work! Though I promise to always write about real current events unless of course it is 1) April 1st (I reserve the right to be playful on that day or 2) I and my assistant are totally suckered in by some mock/fake event…!

  10. Kari says:

    As a lesbian and a mentor to many LGBT college students, I am truly saddened by this news. When I talk to my students, some of whom are from Texas (and other places) and have families who believe this kind of thing, it so hard to make them believe that “it will get better!” I can’t wrap my mind around the idea that people continue to think that sexuality is 1) a choice, 2) something that should be “repaired,” and most important to this conversation, 3) MATTER AS A POLITICAL PLATFORM. The ridiculousness of the “therapy” is beyond comprehension – and it isn’t about freedom. Well adjusted people without social pressure to do so, don’t “want” to change who they are. I don’t know any straight people walking around saying, “OMG, I wish I was gay” or killing themselves because they are straight, or feeling depressed, alone, ashamed, and afraid because they are straight. I guess I will get off my soap box and find a flannel shirt to put on and tools to build something with. I hope my long hair and manicured nails don’t get in the way…..

    • OK Kari but I’d better not see you at the opera…! And when you are out building something can it be some sort of universal common-sense box that we could pass around to everyone who needs it? thx!

  11. Marquis S says:

    As a therapist, I’ve worked with clients who have wanted to attempt to change their sexual orientation to meet their family’s expectations as well as cultural and religious expectations. I’ve seen the toll it can take on someone’s life when they are expected to change who they are and no longer feel the attraction that they feel. It leads to depression and even thoughts of suicide. I think that this reparative therapy will be very damaging to clients and will give nothing but unrealistic expectations. And it also creates a lot of damaging ideals on what masculinity is supposed to be. For example, not every man likes sports, but that doesn’t mean he is any less of a man than the next. It advocates for the negative views of masculinity that we have now in our society that are both damaging to both men and women.

  12. Bianca M says:

    I feel that people should live whatever lifestyle they choose. As far as this so called therapy, it seems as if the Texas GOP is actually doing something that was tried by many parents that thought they could change their child’s lifestyle until they realized nothing could be done and they have to accept people for who they are. I really like how the article lists each of the steps and counters it with a reason why it would not work, especially the one about participating in more masculine sports. Surely they have not thought everything out. I guess its just a relief to know they won’t be forcing people to do the therapy.

  13. Selenseia H. says:

    One of my job duties require that I schedule and facilitate Safe Space trainings on the university campus. Safe Space is open to the university and the general community. With the training, we aim to help individuals understand the LGBTQ community, and gives them the opportunity to become allies. It sounds as if members of the Texas GOP need to attend one of our trainings. How someone can even suggest reparative therapy is just plain crazy to me. It makes no sense at all, and I can not wrap my head around the thought of this “therapy” actually being used.

  14. Lisa S says:

    I am not even sure where to begin with this post. It is challenge for me to even address the issue at hand because there are so many issues and initiatives the Texas GOP should be addressing. Reparative Therapy is not even close to being at the top of the list. The time that was spent to pulls facts, data, and any other resources could have been spent on something more productive and progressive for the state of Texas.

    In regards to reparative therapy, if society spent more time uplifting each other, working together, creating a future legacy of healthy happy individuals our nation would be in a much better position. Instead, we focus on telling individuals their choices makes other uncomfortable, so we will provide an outlet for you to work on making others feel more comfortable in your presence. Encouraging someone to “man-up” and start a family, which could lead to promiscuous behavior, broken families, and damaged children is not the road to success. Just because there is a group someone can join to talk about their down-low antics does not make it acceptable.

    So Texas GOP, please focus on creating jobs and improving education, not broken homes.

  15. Samuel D says:

    This “reparative therapy” is one of the most ignorant ideas I have ever come across. It is making the assumption that all gay people have the same tendencies and that fixing those tendencies will “fix the problem.” I have made assumptions about another person’s sexual orientation before and been wrong on many occasions. Some of the “straightest” guys I’ve met were actually gay and some guys who enjoyed many of the activities that are associated with homosexuality were actually not gay. I think the Michael Sam example was perfect to illustrate how ignorant the idea was. If doing those things would “fix the problem,” then Sam should be completely “straight” for all the football he has played. There is so much wrong with this “reparative therapy” that it is not even funny.

  16. Timothy C says:

    I have been following this developing story in the news of recent weeks. First and foremost, it is sad that the GOP feel this is a topic appropriate for national debate. It implies that homosexuals are somehow defective and in need of treatment. Further, it suggests that their efforts are somehow noble and in the best interest of their fallen GLBT brothers and sisters. GLBT issues are not indicative of illness or insufficient moral fortitude. The notion of deficiency has been dispelled by various credible sources including the American Medical Association (AMA) and American Psychiatric Association (APA). Further, it is considered an undeniable fact that reparative therapy is dangerous and may result undesired consequences including fractured psyche, depression and suicide. This discussion by the GOP strikes me as an attempt to draw attention to person agendas within the party- “…lets go back in time twenty years to rekindle our strength by returning to our formerly repressive culture.” It is also a sad attempt to distract the masses from other issues that GOP members are unprepared to address. The most disheartening aspect of this story is that the GOP represents a significant percentage of the American population suggesting an uncomfortable number of Americans are in agreement with this ludicrous policy.

  17. Khari L says:

    As a Texas resident, I personally do not agree with GOP passing this reparative therapy. The fact that there are people still out there thinking there is a cure to fix gay individuals is just plan ignorant. No body change how individuals feel unless the want to change themselves. Being straight is a choice just as much as being gay. If they can pass a law to make gays straight then it would be only fair if they have the ability to turn straight individuals into gays. Since the beginning of this year alone there has been plenty of individuals achieving success in sports, music, and business. As an intern a Baylor University, I went up to the University of Missouri for a week for an intern exchange. Michael Sam was one of the athletes I helped coach during the summer program. I would have treated him the same regardless if he was gay or straight. This therapy would not have made of difference in his football ability. Texas should avoid trying to change gays into straight individuals. The obesity the state currently holds is one of the highest in America so maybe they can solve this issue.

  18. Xenia Johns says:

    I’m not really surprised by much these days, but these steps are most interesting. Especially, number three; we women are always causing trouble.

  19. Car-ra B says:

    I agree. The name alone is highly suggestive that the GOP believes something is actually broken. I think the last thing that government should be worried about “fixing” is someone’s sexual orientation. I highly doubt this program is truly intended as a source of help, but more so as an attack on a homosexual citizen’s lifestyle. The required “12 steps” for reparative therapy are truly laughable. Especially the fact that step 3 encourages the exploitation of sexual relationships outside of marriage. GOP? *gasp* I guess it’s all in the name of repairing. I say we have a “Reparative Therapy” for those who are homophobic, racist, and have no actual concern for the citizens they are supposed to be representing. Instead of using politics for personal attacks or false perceptions of help, why not actually work to help improve our nation.

  20. Sedric C says:

    We love to make fun of gays, but I thought a sin was a sin. I think we need Reparative therapy for racist instead of gays. I don’t think gay people are the problem it’s the racist. Gay people want the same equal rights everyone else were granted; just as black people and women during the 60’s and 70’s. Everyone has to answer to their on GOD.

  21. cynthia h says:

    I read the article and totally enjoyed it. I read over the commentary and although I’m both picking and guilty…. somewhat sad. We keep hearing people say how being gay is not a choice. Well perhaps it’s not, but even then, if one chooses to be gay is it really a problem? NO!! It’s none of my business rather or not an individual is gay, rather or not they were born that way, and even rather or not they choose to be gay. I choose to be heterosexual. I wasn’t born that way, I choose to be. Either way, we are all Americans and should all be afforded the same rights. Regardless of rather not we choose to be gay, choose to be heterosexual, were born gay etc. People keep dragging their religion into everything. Don’t get me wrong, I mean no disrespect by that comment, but religion shouldn’t prevent a person from being treated equally in this country…..and yes, I know we were founded on religion. But guess what, we were also founded in the name of freedom, nevermind this is the year 2014. I’m saddened that people try to dictate the rights of others on the premise of religion.

  22. Gerald J says:

    After reading this…It can be said this having reparative therapy provides another option, but the Texas GOP does this while re-enforcing the idea that America does not like/accept the LGBT community. Its difficult to determine whether or not the aim was malicious, but the entire premise could have been framed differently.

    The way the issue is framed, implies that:

    1.) The LGBT community is causing a problem
    2.) The problem needs to be fixed.

  23. La'Keiya B says:

    This is disgusting. LGBT community have faced discrimination and persecution for decades. At some point this nonsense has got to stop. America is better than this.

  24. Tricia P says:

    This is the most ludicrous idea the GOP has had in a long time, and that is really saying something. Surely there are more important issues the GOP can concentrate on, instead of trying to “fix” people who do not need fixing. Maybe if the GOP was less concerned about what other people are doing, which, have nothing to do with them, they could get actual work accomplished for the betterment of the country.

  25. tara c says:

    Why don’t we just revert back to insulin-coma therapy, trepanation, lobotomies, or submerging Gay/Lesbians into ice baths until their brains go into a massive shock, even better let’s go back to the “bleeding” practice and drain all the bad blood out of them? One of those ancient therapies have to work, Right??

    All the TX GOP is doing is telling those who already have a strong prejudice against them that they will never be equal or treated equal until they are all “straight”. Many of the teen LGBT are already struggling with their self-identity and are depressed let’s just mix it all up and confirm to them that they really do have a problem in who they are and they need to conform to everyone else. Let’s see how many teens and young adults commit suicide then.

    There are so many people who hide who they really are to please their parents and society and in the process loose who they are. No one can “make them better” it’s a simple fact that there is nothing wrong with them, you can argue with me till the end of time and I will never agree with you. You can show me your proof, but I will have mine to rebut. By saying that there is something wrong with someone’s sexuality is like bringing back the anti-miscegenation laws that were banned in the late 60’s. You cannot tell someone they must love a certain type of person, of course unless you are Hitler.

    America just needs to get out of people’s homes and let them live their American dream.

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