January 3, 2014 by gregrabidoux2013
Join me as I imagine legendary Hollywood movie director Martin Scorsese starting his morning work day in his beloved New York. It may just go something like this:
Scene 1: (Primary Camera frames the legendary director with his oversized, trademark, black-rimmed glasses sitting in his Italian leather Director’s chair in his brownstone SoHo townhouse. He sits at his cherry mahogany breakfast table which overlooks the street and is about 5 feet from his fireplace and mantel which holds his many industry Oscars and awards and a framed black and white picture of Joe Pesci, Bob DeNiro and his new boy, Leo DiCaprio.
The table is adorned with a crisp white linen tablecloth. Sitting on top is an untouched onion “Three Brothers” NY style bagel and cream cheese and a black coffee in a mug that says “Cut” (given to him by Jack Nicholson) near the bagel and cheese. The director is on his cell phone with a folded NYT newspaper in his other hand, he holds it like he is ready to aim it and yell “Action”)…..
Martin: Yeah, this is “F” ing me, who the “F” is this?
Leo DiCaprio (Sitting on the deck of his yacht, the Titanic 2): It’s me, your “F” ing boy, Leo, Leo the “F”ing move star you “F” er.
Martin: Ah, “F” me and my advanced “F” ing age, I “F” ing forget stuff.
Leo: No worries you old “F” er, what’s the next “F” ing movie we’ll make together. I’m already “F” ing bored with my “F” ing yacht and all these “F” ing super-models…I want a real “F” ing adrenaline rush.
Martin: (to his Agent on line 2): Hey, you no good, overpaid “F” er, where’s the next “F”ing script for my “F”ing boy Leo?
Agent: Oh, “F” me, I thought I already “F” ing Fedexed it to you…that “F”ing assistant of mine, “F” him. I’ll send it right over or you can “F” my pay for this week.
Martin: (to Agent) Sounds like an “F” ing deal. (to Leo) Leo, I’ll get an “F” ing script to you before this “F” ing day ends or my name isn’t Martin “F” ing Scorsese.
Leo: Now that’s more like it…”F” ing “A.” Hey, sweetheart, come here and stir my “F” ing Mojito for me, the ice is melting.
(Scene One ends with Martin, Leo and his Agent all laughing together as they all declare how “F” ing great their life is)
[Fade to Black]
In need of an explanation?
You see, the latest Martin Scorsese offering, The Wolf of Wall Street has shattered the previous record for the most “F” bombs in any movie. This particular “Wolf” has 506 “F” bombs in it with a run time of 180 minutes. While the previous record-holder was Spike Lee’s 1999 Summer of Sam with 435 “F” bombs, Mr. Scorsese clearly is the King of the “F” bombs. Casino (422) and Goodfellas (300), both Scorsese films, round out the top 4 “F” bomb movies of all time.
So, some quick “F” ing math tells us that Scorsese in just 3 of his many movies accounts for us hearing the “F” bomb 1,228 times in our local Cineplex.
How “F” ing excessive is that?
Which all got me thinking about two items. First, we, Americans have a paucity of really good curse words to draw upon. I have traveled quite a bit in my time and folks in many other countries simply have a much more varied and rich treasure trove of swear words at their fingertips. Bulgarians in particular seem to have raised cursing each other, the taxicab driver, maybe even we, tourists, to an art form.
Second, the “F” bomb is so overused now in the US that it may just about be time to put it out of its own “F” ing misery.
Who’s to blame? Well, much has been made of early stand-up, raw comics like Lenny Bruce and Red Foxx but me, I blame Eddie Murphy. I went to his concert once live. All I can recall are 3 things. One, he does have a really contagious laugh. Two, I could never pull off red leather jacket or pants. Three, he used the “F” bomb. A lot. And people really laughed a lot. Each time.
But here’s the rub. Because of entertainers like Eddie Murphy and directors like Martin Scorsese we may just be running the risk of becoming, well, indifferent to the “F” bomb.
Maybe that’s the real genius of Scorsese. Maybe it’s not just that he unleashed a really scary Robert DeNiro in “Taxi” on us but that now he is holding a mirror on us as a society. Forcing us to examine how we interact with each other.
Maybe the legend that is Scorsese is commenting on our social mores by having us all hear the “F” bomb so much that we become immune to its former potency. And we are forced to confront our own limitations in expressing our innermost passion, anger, even love.
Nah. Maybe Mr. Scorsese just has a real potty-mouth and he should write “I will not use the “F” bomb in my movies anymore” 1,228 times.
Ah, “F” it. He won’t change. I sure do like that “F” ing Leo though. Now that’s a real “F” ing movie star. Not like that Brad guy, I bet Angie doesn’t even let him swear around the house.
Want more Hollywood and politics? Well, Tiger, don’t be shy, go to www.amazon.com, and look for my book below.