12 Million Ducks Can’t Be Wrong. Right?


December 31, 2013 by gregrabidoux2013

Daffy Duck

Hey, Jack, no offense, but I hate the show for obvious reasons. Why not a Rabbit Dynasty?

So, Phenomenal Phil, the patriarch of the bearded, “camo-clad,” Duck Dynasty Robertson clan is making duck waves for his controversial views. Again.

This time it is for video footage of a revival style “sermon” that preacher Phil gave some time ago at a sportsman’s ministry in the peachy state of Georgia. There he urged all good sportsmen and fellow duck hunters to marry young (15 or 16 is apparently when they are most ripe), make sure your future bride knows her scripture (especially the parts about gays) and test drive her cooking skills (real men don’t come home after a long day of calling ducks to some yuppified microwaveable grub).

But mostly, your young not-yet-out-of-high school future little duck commander cooker bride better be able to “pick your ducks.” Now before you go getting yer Yankee spandex all in bunches, in duck hunter lingo “pick your ducks” means to clean and pick the feathers off of your caught duck. Just so we are clear.


Beards and Cut to the Shoulder Shirts sold extra.

You may recall, that the inventor of the Duck Commander (a copyrighted Duck Call back in 1972) and scripture enthusiast, Phil, got himself temporarily in some hot duck-soup a couple of weeks ago. Seems the head-duck gave an interview for GQ (wait, what?, GQ still stands for Gentlemen’s Quarterly, right?) and served up some rather choice morsels for gays everywhere (he doesn’t approve) and as he sees it, blacks in America were quite happy, content and did a lot of singing during those blessed times when they were being segregated, beaten, discriminated and lynched. Who knew?

So, if you are following along at home, Phil and presumably his fellow duckers see homosexuality as an abomination and sin, don’t quite see what ever was wrong for blacks under Jim Crow era and wait patiently in the reeds for a 15 year old duck lover gal to come by who can cook. And pick your ducks.

Phil robertson pic

I got a right to speak my mind. And you got a right to watch something else and not buy DD stuff. America, ain’t it great?

Is this how millions of (White) Americans think? Or maybe just the roughly 12 million who adamantly and I mean adamantly tune in to this A&E Cable television phenomenon?

While you scratch your beard on those queries ponder these undeniable facts: Since its premiere, Duck Dynasty has proven to be a ratings and revenue bonanza for A&E and its sponsors and primary (Walmart) retailer. The reality show has called in nearly $100 million in advertising sales along with a preposterous 1/2 billion (based on estimated recent Christmas purchases) in merchandising. Walmart alone has sold nearly $250 million in DD stuff.

As I watched my Midwest, decidedly upscale relatives open up their DD T-shirts and mugs this holiday with unabashed glee, it hit me just how universal (at least across these freedom-loving states) the appeal is of this show and its family.


Maybe your boss will let you wear it on “Casual Friday.”

Is it because deep down lots of non-camouflaged Americans who may or may not cut their shirts off at the shoulders really feel the same way that Phil does about gays, blacks and females? Well, I’ve lived in Tennessee and now Georgia for awhile. I’ve even attended some tent-revivalist sermons in my day. Phil’s views strike a responsive chord among a lot of folks, especially males who tend to think Larry the “Get ‘er done” Cable Guy is just about the funniest dude alive.

But let’s be realistic. It goes deeper then that. The Duck Dynasty Clan is living the American dream. Maybe not the exact dream for all Americans but close. No real boss to have to answer to. No dehumanizing office cubicle. No 8-5:00 boring living life for the week-ends routine. Being outdoors, with nothing but your own Duck Commander, shotgun, camo and maybe a little (maybe, a lot) of Jim Beam or his pal Jack Daniels. Plus, the little, almost ready to drive legally wife, at home, cooking up some duck stew for her man.

What Jack Nicholson and Peter Fonda riding the open highway on their “Hogs” represented to lots of Americans  the DD clan represents today-Freedom. At least for a particular set of Americans. Gays, Blacks and Career-minded women need not apply.

Easy rider

The original Duck Dynasty Dudes in spirit at least?

And, like all American Dreams and television “reality” shows, Phil and his Clan are not exactly as portrayed. Phil has a Master’s Degree in education, and the youngest son has a B.A. in business from Harding University where he learned the tricks of the merchandising trade. Seems like it paid off for the DD Clan.

Look, while the media paints this latest duck dust-up as clashing religious and social views in America (religious, intolerant White, mostly Southerners) versus (liberal, godless, Northerners) the real truth I’d argue lies deeper in the duck pond.

The DD Clan is doing it their way and making millions along the way. Money. Family. Ducks.

And you? At least you got a T-shirt and a mug. Live life on the edge, my friend. On the edge. And be sure and pick your own ducks from time to time. Keeps you sharp.



16 thoughts on “12 Million Ducks Can’t Be Wrong. Right?

  1. Mara says:

    Wow, unbelievable that this show is grabbing 12 million viewers. I guess intolerance will never go fully out of style. Happy 2014. maybe that will be the year this type of thinking becomes obsolete. probably not though.

  2. Paulina Tynes says:

    Daffy Duck has a point. Maybe it is time for a Rabbit Dynasty. Though doesn’t Bugs Bunny own the franchise rights??

  3. Ray Jesup says:

    I am proud to be one of those 12 million Ducks…Phil for President!

  4. Dani says:

    All I can say is I love all you crazy Americanos! Ducks rule!

  5. Susan Smythe says:

    Mara, don’t get your hopes up just yet, this kind of backwards thinking hangs on like a crocodile to its prey…my own sister just got a “nightie” with Phil’s face all over it…Yuck! How about Daffy for President instead?

  6. Randall says:

    Robertson’s comments don’t bother me as I expected exactly that thought/opinion process from people of his background. What has really bothered me is that people I thought were fair minded and supported the idiocy. I will never understand why anybody cares what Robertson thinks about anything or why it matters. He is, after all, a reality television actor who is seeking publicity to boost a stupid entertainment format.

    • David S says:

      I agree with you, why should anyone care what he thinks or believes. He just happens to be a celebrity. It’s like caring about what my neighbor thinks or believes. However, I have found the whole national debate interesting.

  7. Amelia says:

    Randall, well put! It’s like millions don’t know or care that the real joke is on them, they buy the duck dynasty crap and Phil and his clan make millions along with Walmart. Neither probably supports real workers and their families anyways. Maybe I’ll invent Duck Commander2 which calls all bigots and religious idiots!

  8. Michael M says:

    Phil Robertson just simply gave his word on what he believes to be right. His comments on the ways to find a woman and his opinion of gays are what we should expect of a man of his background. Now i feel his comments objectify women, which i feel shouldn’t be done, but all his comments are his opinion and everyone is entitled to their opinion.

  9. Jon Musselwhite says:

    Phil Robertson has a strong faith and uses duck dynasty as a way to share his faith. His comments on gay people are in right in line with his faith, and the way he grow up people did get married early in their life. In America, people have the freedom of speech so even if his opinion are not the same as yours everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

  10. Austin says:

    Phil Robertson is a typical old school Southerner, with a very conservative view on change. With him being a Pastor as well you can’t expect him to be for same sex marriages, and to his preaching efforts in Georgia he did a good job especially if it was aimed towards sportsmen. If you have ever watched the show, he believes in a good wife, and he talks about in a few episodes about young people and dating. To the jim crow law thing once again he is just a southerner from that time period, its his history and past, and a way of life for some people, even today.

  11. John K says:

    My mom and I both love watching Duck Dynasty not just because of its humor, but especially for its life lessons during the prayer. We don’t see that many shows where they do that in this day of age. Today most reality shows have a bunch of nonsense drama which includes drugs, sex etc.and sadly many people find that appealing. I was shocked to hear about Phil being banned, however it does feel like in this article he is pushing it. It almost feels like he is not just telling us but ramming it down Americans throats. Because of this, it could potentially push more people away. Of course he has the right to speak his mind, but people has their right to not accept it. That is what makes America so unique where we can have our own beliefs. People shouldn’t be bashful towards them for his “outrageous” suggestions in the article, and they should take in the real point of the show, that a family might have its ups and downs but at the end of the day, they’re family. I have non religious friends who watch the show, and I watch it to remind myself how to not necessarily be a christian but just a person with morals.

  12. JP says:

    I’m not sure if “intolerance” is the right word- they are not spreading hatred or violence toward any groups of people, but they express their views on sensitive subjects. They have this right and others don’t have to like it, but they should be able to express it.

  13. Jennifer P says:

    I’m not sure if “intolerance” is the right word- they are not spreading hatred or violence toward any groups of people, but they express their views on sensitive subjects. They have this right and others don’t have to like it, but they should be able to express it

  14. David S says:

    I wonder how many people across the country who have commented on this issue here and elsewhere have really read the full GQ article. I have and don’t believe that what he said about homosexuality was terribly offensive. Poorly expressed perhaps, but he was commenting about his belief that homosexual acts are sinful, not that homosexuals are bad people. Hate the sin and love the sinner. This is a view based on a religious text upon which over 2 billion people base their religious beliefs, albeit across a wide spectrum of theological belief. Heaven help us if a belief is expressed that isn’t politically correct (pun intended).

  15. Casey Holcom says:

    Watching that show makes my IQ drop. I really can’t believe so many people are so passionate about what these guys are saying. I couldn’t care less about what they have to say, even if it is entertainingly dumb.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: